A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off

If you were a cactus, why?

What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

Do you know how to forget? No. Me either, I forgot.

How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

Johnny walked up to his teacher one day and asked her to explain to him how babies were made. She instead whispered back to him, "Let me show you". He declined, because he wasn't prepared to be a father.

How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

why are balck people black because they are

If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Q: What do the French call a quarter pounder with cheese? A: Le Royale with cheese

Dyslexics have more nuf!

hey! did u just fall??? ..no..gravity wanted a hug.!

Lil Wayne's rapping career

A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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