roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

today at school... I learned about all the core subject plus the additional electives.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

thumb_up thumb_down +7

hello juliano and guss. having fun?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the worst thing about African poverty? The fact that there is no foreseeable solution to the problem of millions suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A person from Singapore eats

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You all have Aids

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops