Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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Why was the Chinese Man mistaken for the other Chinese Man? They were twins.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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No.

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why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

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why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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