What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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What did the man with sores on his tounge get for a birthday present? He recieved a very nice pair of trousers which he wore to work from time to time

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

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What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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black people - basketball rednecks- nascar mexicans- soccer asians- uuuuuh I don't know can i get a hint

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

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Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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A blackman and an asian are walking down the street they pass eachother exchange looks and continue on with their day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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