Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? No Neither did she

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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Amazing

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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