Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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How do you pacify Hitler? Give him jews.

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A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

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- Why Justin Bieber can't login to Facebook? - Because he forgot the password.

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why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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Where does Charlie Sheen Shop? Winners

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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