Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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A man sees the most beautiful woman he's ever seen on the street. He takes her into a dark alley and r.apes her.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

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Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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david poredos

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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roses are red violets are dead honey is yellow and so is head

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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Guess what. Chicken butt.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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What did chad do when his friends came over? I'm not much of a fiction man personally.

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Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

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There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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