What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How long would it take for a clock to reach 12 It depends on which 12 it is going to land on and which time zone you are in but yet most clocks are not correct so it is very hard to tell

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Bill and John are talking about types of cheese. The conversation drags on a bit and slowly changes topic. Bill says "I bet you I can bungy jump off a bridge". John chuckles before replying "I bet you can't". They go and find a bridge and Bill puts on his harness and ties himself to the side of the bridge. He throws himself off the edge and falls through the air screaming at the top of his voice. John cuts the bungy cord and Bill dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black guy who walks into your house and takes your stuff. A repoman, pay your taxes next time

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses Are Red Violits Are Blue Screw it RUN!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My asian freind died recently... But on another note why did the chicken cross the road.Crosing the road is a metaphor for killing yourself and the chicken is my asian freind.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

In Soviet Russia, table flip you! ???? ? /(. - . \?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

women sports....

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests Testicals

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red , Violets Are Blue , i Dont Like rhyming , TITTIES !!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops