what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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Three guys went hunting on a rainy day. The first guy slipped.

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An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

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Why is the black man in the ghetto? He is a cop and is trying to solve a murder that was committed a couple days ago.

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? She is a goner.

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Your mum is so dead, when I kick her she doesn't move.

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What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

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What happen's when you give an alcoholic whiskey? He's an alcoholic, so he drinks it.

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

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300 terrorists have a contest, they all jump off a tower and die. Who wins? Society.

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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Bumsniffer

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roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

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What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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