There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops