Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ?... because he was dead

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

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Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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The NBA and womens sports

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A rabbi and priest both go into a bar... and they each had a responsible number of drinks before walking home.

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What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

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If you're riding on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a car? Blue. Because Ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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Q: Why did the girl have dirty knees? A: Cause she was dragged through the forest and raped.

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women sports....

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops