Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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Why didn't little Jimmy eat his dinner? Jimmy didn't eat his dinner because there was no food. Jimmy is a poor street urchin who died of starvation.

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

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Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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What did the teenage girl get for her birthday? Pregnant.

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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Yo mammals so stupid, she's got AIDS!

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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How do you get a girl out of a tree? You throw a refrigirator at her.

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Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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STFU Stop Tickling Fuzzy Unicorns they really don't like it

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what do u call a man being beaten in the street the cops

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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