What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

i read the terms of service when i posted this

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the mute boy get for his birthday? i dont know he didnt tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +14

One time at band camp.............tha'ts it........

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You and your parents are going to die today

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A white man, a black man, and a mexican are stranded on an island. They all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops