Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man. The mexican got his arms shot off in the war and is severely paralyzed. God Bless our troops. Thank you for serving us.

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The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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Getting up for a black person on a buss

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Q: How do you know your gay? A: When you have unexpected desires for men, which is a sin to a religion, so the choice of being gay is against the bible and you would soon be sent to the pit of fire we call hell.

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What do you call a Mexican in a kitchen? A chef.

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whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

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Knock, Knock ...

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Now I have been typing without even thinking about that, and you have been following me.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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