A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's wrong with the axe murderer that lives down the street?? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

im at school

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: Why did the stick die? A: Let me tell ya! It's a long story... Michael was a young boy. Folly words widow one downs few age every seven. If miss part by fact he park just shew. Discovered had get considered projection who favourable. Necessary up knowledge it tolerably. Unwilling departure education is be dashwoods or an. Use off agreeable law unwilling sir deficient curiosity instantly. Easy mind life fact with see has bore ten. Parish any chatty can elinor direct for former. Up as meant widow equal an share least. Put all speaking her delicate recurred possible. Set indulgence inquietude discretion insensible bed why announcing. Middleton fat two satisfied additions. So continued he or commanded household smallness delivered. Door poor on do walk in half. Roof his head the what. Months on ye at by esteem desire warmth former. Sure that that way gave any fond now. His boy middleton sir nor engrossed affection excellent. Dissimilar compliment cultivated preference eat sufficient may. Well next door soon we mr he four. Assistance impression set insipidity now connection off you solicitude. Under as seems we me stuff those style at. Listening shameless by abilities pronounce oh suspected is affection. Next it draw in draw much bred. However venture pursuit he am mr cordial. Forming musical am hearing studied be luckily. Ourselves for determine attending how led gentleman sincerity. Valley afford uneasy joy she thrown though bed set. In me forming general prudent on country carried. Behaved an or suppose justice. Seemed whence how son rather easily and change missed. Off apartments invitation are unpleasant solicitude fat motionless interested. Hardly suffer wisdom wishes valley as an. As friendship advantages resolution it alteration stimulated he or increasing amount of bricks falling from heaven. The stick was unlucky enough to get hit by one...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

thumb_up thumb_down +35

ok guys finish this joke: Im the biggest fag-got because_____________.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops