What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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This is not a joke

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Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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copy me and i will kill you

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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