Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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A black man, a Muslim man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar so the bartender says, "Get the f*** out."

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Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

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What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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Why don't women bother to have penises? Because they're lazy and they don't care.

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Why does Timmy Teblow love penis? Logan Cole made him do it.

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I would write a racist joke, but racism is offensive

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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Womens' sports

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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Latvia isn't a joke

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Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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gay people

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Im taking a shit right now.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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How long does it take to acheive a superbowl win? However long it takes you.

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>>---------------------------------[ knee ]------------------------->>>

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What happens when a black person brakes his neck? He gets a neck brace just like anyone else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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