A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

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Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What did the mime say to the girl? .......

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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What did the black boy find on his doorstep A package from his grandparents in Australia

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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