How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the muslim cross the road? To get to the other Saiid.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: why does the fire breather hate his job A: his parents were burned to death MR

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A white man, a black man, and a mexican are stranded on an island. They all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I need to start studying.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: If you are running a race and a fridge hits you, how many dogs play x-box in the snow? A: 12 orange waffles

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops