How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

thumb_up thumb_down -24

roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your Mommy is a gas pump.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

black people are white when i use night gogles

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the mexican mow the lawn. Because the grass in his front yard is longer than he likes it .

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a black guy walks into a black bar

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If a tree falls in the forest, and only a deal man is there at the time, does it make a sound? And what are his odds of not being trapped under it, awaiting rescue?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A black guy walks into a kkk meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What the person say to the other Person? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops