What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

Hellen keller

CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

What did one manicotti say to the other manicotti? I doubt we'll ever know.

what did the kid with poleo get for christmas. whatever he has on his christmas list because his parents feel bad for passing down the genetic information(DNA) that gave him poleo.

There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

Sammi suck kyles chode

A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

Somebody else besides you: what time is it? You: what time is what? SOmebody else: ? What?

What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

i like my woman how i like my coffe... without d i c k s

So this fat guy farts. It smells.

Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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