what is big, black, and has hair on it. a big black guy with hair.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Nothing. He punched him in the face and stole his iPhone.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

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Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

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A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

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Robin, get in the batmobile

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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Womens basketball

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What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

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What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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