a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

thumb_up thumb_down -8

People Eating Tasty Animals

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? I stole your wallet and used to buy a prostitute. I had a great time. What was the question again?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Friends are like snow; they disappear when you pee on them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What's the difference between a Chicken and a Triceratops? A: One is a Chicken and One is a Triceratops.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

ded on boomer and aodddan

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -8

TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple ? Finding out your apple is rotten on top of that.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they choose to. this is a free country, where people are free to travel as they please, despite what their sexual orientation may be. Jerk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas Carol? A: None. He was raised by gorillas, who are unlikely to have ever heard of Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops