A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

Why did the farmer's wife leave the farm? Because she was a lesbian.

three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

What's Black/White and red all over? Obama when he gets a little flustered.

Justin Bieber

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

Anthony sucks

Your mother is such a whore that she engages regularly in acts of consensual but unprotected sex with various gentlemen.

whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

What's worse than chicken pox? AIDs.

One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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