I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

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You suck big fat slobber

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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Whats better than sitting here writing anti jokes? Sitting in ENGLISH and writing anti jokes. Shoutout to Link Deas

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A man walks into a bar, little did he know it was a gay bar and a few of the regulars were drinking and got overly aggressive the unaware man was then forced into the bathroom and raped by the aggressive gay lovers

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What did the man do after he got in his car with out his keys? He started it up and drove Away

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

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How do you shoot an eagle? You don't. The eagle is going too fast for you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

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Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

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What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

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What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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