What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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Why are ther so many black people in the NBA? Because culturally Basketball is a very popular sport among a lot of African Americans, thus providing a lot of African Amercans to play Basketball professionally

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

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why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

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What did the kid with cancer gt for Christmas? Nothing. He didn't make it that long

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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