Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and deaf, so it wold be near impossible for her to do so without seriously injuring herself or another human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy. You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy, who?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

once you go black your credit goes wack

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does it mean when you have big shoes? Either you were genetically born with big feet, or you are wearing sheos that are too big for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Protoss player say when he lost to a Terran player? I concede defeat. You simply have a greater mastery over the game than I.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock whos there? IRS Oh....

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops