q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

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My children are huge mistakes.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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