What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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What's worse than the holocaust? anti-joke

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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"Knock knock." "No."

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Dude 1: Hey, ya see these coins here? Dude 2: ya, what about em'? Dude 1: would you say you see these pretty often? Dude 2: yup... :/ Dude 1: so would you call them COMMON CENTS!?!?!?!?!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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Obamacare

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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whats your moms inside look like nick because all there is is fat

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

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WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

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Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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Women

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How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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