What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

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What is the difference between a blond and a red-head? They have different hair colors.

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

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Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

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how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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Why are bacon and eggs good. Because Toasters are silver

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whats fat round and bouncing off the ground= George goodburn

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MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT BETA 0.3!!! DUDUDUDUDUDUDUNDUN Kano, Kano, Kano, Uh, some asian guy? Kano Kano, Kano, some black guy in the future, Kano, Kano, etc. MORTAL KOMBAAAT BETA 0.3!!!

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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