What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

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did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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