A man is talking with his friend when suddenly he picks up a banana. He starts talking with the banana, and after a while of conversing the man sadly puts down his banana and says to his friend, "I'm sorry but your son has just died in a horrible accident."

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Poop...

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A homeless man begged and begged for a dollar to buy something. A man finally gave him his dollar. What did the hobo buy? Nothing he walked into 711 and then got shot.

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Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

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People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

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what do you call a top thats spining? A spinning top

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Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

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Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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what do you call a black man in a car? -a person who passed his drivers test

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A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

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If you give a man a fish, he'll eat it.

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Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What is the difference between finding a dead black man on the street or a dead dog? There are tire marks in front of the dog.

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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