What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the joke say to the antijoke? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

thumb_up thumb_down +17

My mom so fat, when she jumps gravity pushed her away from the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats worse than failing your maths test? getting aids

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

First joke of the most-disliked area; 9/11 joke. First joke of the most popular area; Holocaust joke. "You shouldn't joke about 9/11 you sick bastard people died" -Said all Americans ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the boy sad? Because his family was raped and stripped of their possessions

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Unfortually last night Andrew McNeil was studying soo hard that his head exploded and the next day at school, his friends found out and then cheered with laughter and happieness.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Dude 1: Hey, ya see these coins here? Dude 2: ya, what about em'? Dude 1: would you say you see these pretty often? Dude 2: yup... :/ Dude 1: so would you call them COMMON CENTS!?!?!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is yellow and bright? The sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops