Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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Do you feel lucky punk, well do ya? ..Umm i'm sorry :/ I'm not gay!... I'm into chicks...you know?!

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How do you make a blonde stupid as hell. Give birth to it

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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im a willy bum bum

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Charles Manson is innocent.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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Jesus walks into a church only to be touched inappropriately.

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how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

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how do you stop a gang of black people from raping a white woman? throw a basketball

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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