Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

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Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

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Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? One, they're really capable people, unless they're handi-capped then they'll ask someone else to do it for them.

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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what is blue purple and has wings what i dont know that why i am asking you

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What is the delicate way to start talking about your penis? ...that wasn't it.

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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So two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks

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What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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