An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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2 + 2 = 4

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whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

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You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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Q:Whats worse than you touching yourself at night A: The holocaust

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What's white and gluey Glue

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

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Knock Knock. Who's there? .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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