- Anti Joke

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

Justin Bieber.

Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for him. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed Nextel to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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