How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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im at school

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How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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i have a christmas tree.

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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