Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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God wrote this joke.................................

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What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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A black man burned down my house. It was on minecraft you racist!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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