Knock Knock. Knockin on Heavens door, oh hey come in

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Robin, Get in the Car

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knock knock who's there Steve Go away

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Q. How do you get a dinosaur off a slide? A. You tell him he hasn't lived for billions of years.

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What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

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what did the tree say to the other tree? Don't leaf me!

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Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Where does a successful black person live? Neverland.

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Well you can't drive planes

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What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

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What's worse than finding a bug in your soup? The Holocaust

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Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

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why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

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poop nuff said

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... Why couldn't sally get up? She had no legs Why did no one help sally? Because she has no friends.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

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What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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