How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

Lil Wayne's rapping career

I would have buttered my bread, but the pool was cold.

What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get KFC... Because hes a canibal!

Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

You know what me and Bill Cosby have in common? Katie..

How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

What was the mentally challenged kids first word? He was retarded so it wasn't a word.

Vagina.

what's brown and sticky A stick!

Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

The sentence at the bottom is true. The sentence at the top is false.

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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