What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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I grunt when I poop.

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

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Guess what? Bananas

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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what is green an invisible? this cabbage

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

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What worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops