What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

This is sparta No this is patrick

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

Oh s***

A blinde and brunette are stranded on an island. They are never found and starve to death.

One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

a doctor came into the room after receiving a woman's test results for lung cancer. the woman says, "is it negative or positive doctor?" the doctor looks at the woman and says, "it's negative, congratulations."

What is th edifference between jerry sandusky and mike citro sandusky rapes children... ...and joe diragi is gay

want to hear a funny joke? what a coincidence so do I!

What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

so a jew walks into a bar and leaves at 9:00 becuase he has work in the morning.

What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

Whats faster than a black man running away from the cops? The speed of light.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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