Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

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A brunette is walking up the side of a river. She sees a blonde on the other side. "How did you get to the other side?" asked the brunette. "I used the bridge just a few more kilometers up" the blonde replies.

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A boy tells his friend a 9/11 joke. The boy's friend says "Don't joke about 9/11, my dad died in it." "I'm sorry I didn't know.", responds the boy. "Yeah, that's the last plane he ever flew"

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

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Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

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If you were a cactus, why?

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Do you want to hear a joke? No. Women's- oh, okay.

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How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

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how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

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A horse, an apple, a leprechaun and a black man walk into a bar. They sit down and order drinks. The bartender looks at them and say "what is this, a joke?"

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7+5=12

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench A bench can support a family of five

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what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

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Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

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A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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Once upon a time, a boy sat on a hedgehog. He abruptly stood up, as the spikes had caused him a certain amount of discomfort.

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Why is John single? Because women are materialistic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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