Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

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Why was the homeless man lying on the floor? Because he was dead

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Philosoraptor, turds IM A SPAMBOTz B=Not really, just blind.

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if a man is alone in the forest, and there are no women around to hear him...........is he still wrong?

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

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how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

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hiya

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, but the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk!

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Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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A man walks into a bar. He is followed by a chicken, 2 donkeys, a tiger, 7 cardinals, 3 horses, 11 chipmunks, and 2 squirrels. And they all lived happily ever after. THE END

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

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I know a kid named Ruslonia. What type of name is that?

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops