The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

Knock Knock. Come in.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

What's do a woman's vagina and a camel's toe have in common? Other than being parts of two mammals, they have nothing in common.

A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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