How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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Hey babies The holocaust called, they want their screams back.

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why doesn't mexico have an olypics because theyre already running,swimming and jumping over the border

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i love to lick...

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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Who did you see last night? Nobody, no one wants to see you.

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Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

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Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

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Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

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If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.

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Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

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A man walks in to a bar, so he got hurt.

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

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There are 3 types of people in this world; people who can count, and people who can't

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

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soccer

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What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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MOOOOOOOOOOO

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dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops