where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

thumb_up thumb_down +33

It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

24

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

kevin kim

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your existance.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +29

have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops