Why did the little boy sit next to the big boy? Because he wanted to get raped by big Jake!

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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One day a mans computer was unusually, when all else failed, he had to go to extreme measures. He then refreshed his page.

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Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Why was the 3 year old high He was flying

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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What is similar to an orange?? A tangerine.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple ? Finding out your apple is rotten on top of that.

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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Why did the milk man cry? Cause you killed his family.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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