your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Women Sports.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Rick santorum

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: why did the blind man walk off the bridge? A: because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Help I'm being raped!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call a Ukrainian who eats pirogi's A walking stereotype

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A muslim, a jew, and a black man walk into a bar, the bartender asks what they would like to drink, after respnding, paying and receiving their drinks, they sit down to drink them. What a lovely scene of ethnic diversity

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops