When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a pineapple? There will be no funeral for the pineapple..

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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why did the monkey fall dead out of the tree? because edward cullen raped it up the arse sooo many times it died from internal bleeding.

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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A fat guy eats a twinkie.

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Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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honest politician

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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