Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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Caroline Kelly.

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SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER by her real name because she is a woman and worthy of my respect.

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Jews

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Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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why was the black man blind? because he was black.

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A horse walks into a bar, it is then frightened and bucks a man in the chest. Animal control and an ambulance are promptly called. The horse is then taken to a stable, while the man is taken to the hospital where he later made a full recovery.

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Knock knock who's thare Your mom She's dead you bitch

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

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Why was the women's underwear red?... Because she got stabbed.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Why did you just verbalize the onomatopoeic sound of knocking on my door rather than taking the action itself?

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A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops