A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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What did the comedian tell the audience? A well thought out joke that anyone can relate to because that is what the point of a joke is.

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What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

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Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

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Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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honest politician

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Jacob loves stroking his gf's doodle every lunch break. He was embarrased cause it was bigger than his.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

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Know what people hated the most? 9-11

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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why was tommy so sad?............because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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