How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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Why do we bother living when someday we will die? To reproduce and watch TV.

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What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

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An irish man walks out of a bar

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Tough crowd tonight...

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Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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black people

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why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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Which came first, the chicken , the egg, the chick, the dinosaur, or the fried chicken nuggets?

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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An asian man and a black man were having a conversation. The asian man sneezed. The black man got SARS and he died shortly after.

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Safe sex MR

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A black and a mexican jump off a building, What a tragedy...

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You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

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please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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