never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

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why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

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What do you do if you can't go to the Wednesday Night Market on Wednesday? You go on Thursday

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Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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josh roberts got the d in geog

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

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'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

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what is the difference between 10 and 3 7

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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Morning wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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